What to do when you're overwhelmed
Overwhelm is a sneaky emotion. People often don't know they're tired or need a break until they're burned out. What's even more strange is that when we finally come around to admitting we're tired or overwhelmed, the next thing we do is to continue with our lives and hope things miraculously get better. Been there, done that.
I've been in situations where I've felt like I'm not doing enough of what I enjoy, not in control of what is happening around me, or simply have too much I'm responsible for.
Emotional exhaustion often comes from not doing enough of what you love or find purposeful. It's the chaotic stress that leads to results but not the results that matter.
Sometimes, changing my perspective about my situation has worked - framing it as a "growth season" or "stretch opportunity" has helped me feel better. However, there have been times when I just had to do something about it. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Here are some tips that have worked for me in the past:
Pause: Stop everything, and take a step back from the overall situation. I know this is a counterintuitive thing to do, but consider this: stepping away will help clear your head or gain perspective. This might mean taking a day off work (yes, you can use sick days for this), taking a walk, or finding quiet time for journaling. The key thing to do here is to mentally and physically dissociate from everything causing you to feel overwhelmed.
Play: Give yourself permission to do something that replenishes your energy and identify & remove situations/people that are right now, energy drainers in your life. Emotional tiredness often comes from not doing enough of what you love or find purposeful. It's the chaotic stress that leads to results but not the results that matter to you. Whether it's listening to music or cooking a meal, do something that brings you joy!
Prioritize: Once you've paused and played, do a root cause analysis to understand the source of the stress. This might mean you have to do a brain dump of everything you have on your plate. After replenishing your soul and body, don't fall into the trap of going back to everything at once. Some things will have to wait. You may not feel like you are, but really, you are in control of your time. You get to choose what to say no or yes to. To prioritize, ask yourself
What is the most urgent AND important thing in my life right now? This is what to focus on.
Who/What can I put on hold? If it is not urgent, but it is still important to you, move the deadline.
Who can help with this part of my life? If someone can help, delegate, ask for help.
Can I do without this? If it is not important and does not have a purpose in your life, remove it.
Final notes:
Beyond these, practice giving yourself grace. Practice self-kindness that leads to joy and fulfillment. This doesn't mean you won't experience uncomfortable moments. However, make sure that you only allow the creative kind of stress that births purpose in your life in the seasons when you need to stretch.
